It feels like so much longer than a week! Sorry for the delay, but I was out of town at a training and didn't feel like logging onto my laptop in the evenings. Besides, up until yesterday, nothing really noteworthy had happened anyway! We finally heard back from DHS about our application and were told someone should be in contact to get started soon! woohoo! Although, I guess that means we really can't rest on our laurels anymore and need to finish up the random stuff around the house. :)
We also should have our house refinanced within the next week or two which is great news. We will reduce our payment and be with a bank we like :-p Also, we'll have Tom's ex off the house, which has been a VERY long time coming.
Today was not the best day. It was nice finally being back home after a long week away, but Tom and I got off on the wrong foot and it went downhill from there. Enter overblown argument and tears...ugh! Of course, per usual, we worked it all out. But I never enjoy the days it happens. Then again, who does?!
Here is to hoping for a productive and easy weekend at home. :)
Friday, June 21, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Moseying along
Moving along. I have completed watching every episode of Mythbusters on Netflix so for the last couple days I have been pretty productive in the house-readying department. Yesterday I cleaned out spare bathroom, hall closet, and reorganized the locking cabinet. Today I tackled the master bathroom. I was amazed at how much crap (expired product, trash, etc) was under our sinks! Well, there is no more! A couple loads to the trash and some reorganization and now we only have non-expired, safe for children, and well-organized stuff in our cupboards! Woohoo!
Our Rx locking box is supposed to arrive tomorrow, so I'll organize all the meds then and put them in the locking cabinet. Our house is getting closer and closer. Not that it matters too much, we are still quite a bit away from being licensed I think! Although, we are now registered for both the Foster Care courses, adoption course, and CPR that are all required! Whew!
In other news, Father's day is coming up and it gives me butterflies to hope this will be our last as non-parents (crossing my fingers)!!! I dropped grandpa's card off today. He seemed pleased. I have never been a good card-getter. To me and Tom they seem like such a waste of money. I mean seriously, $4 for a couple pieces of paper with some text? I guess we could start making our own, I probably should. But for now we buy them because it makes others happy and that is good.
Tomorrow is Friday, but kind of a bummer as I have to drive out of town for the day and leave at the crack of dawn!! Eww! At least after those meetings I'll be back and it will be the weekend! Woohoo! It will be a busy weekend with cleaning, a wedding reception, Father's Day, and CPR class! Hopefully we get to squeeze in some down time with all that. I know I need it and I'm sure Tom does too with all this gym-going and EMT course stuff he has going on.
Anyway, with that I'm heading to bed. Sweet dreams!
Friday, June 7, 2013
TGIF
Seriously. So glad it is finally the weekend. I got some not so great news from lab results which means another doctor visit (nothing fatal, but not fun either) and what a bummer of a day. As if I needed anything to add to this roller-coaster Tom and I are on! But such is life I guess!
I think this whole process is going to teach me some serious patience. Which is great, because I'll need it for this kid! We have not heard back anything from the foster or adopt side of the County. I did get to chat with one of the attorneys we are looking at and ask some real questions about the agreement. They were great answers, but I still think we may end up going the foster-adopt route. It is so hard to justify $30k in exchange for patience and a little bit of security.
On the flip side, we finally got to go play some Killer Bunnies (an amazing card game) with some of our good friends tonight. We hadn't been able to see them in about two months, so it was a long time coming and a great evening for everyone! They even had a little belated birthday party with party donuts and some very beautiful earrings for me! How much fun is that?!
Tomorrow is more prep around the house. We need to fix the backyard and start cleaning out the garage! Also, Tom has to take one of our dogs to go get his rabies vaccination and licensing! Fortunately there is a clinic with reduced pricing (yay)! I'm all for saving money!
Well, Tom is in bed, and here I am once again up later than I'd like. I guess I should wrap it up and get myself to bed! It is supposed to be 108 degrees tomorrow and there is a lot to do!
I think this whole process is going to teach me some serious patience. Which is great, because I'll need it for this kid! We have not heard back anything from the foster or adopt side of the County. I did get to chat with one of the attorneys we are looking at and ask some real questions about the agreement. They were great answers, but I still think we may end up going the foster-adopt route. It is so hard to justify $30k in exchange for patience and a little bit of security.
On the flip side, we finally got to go play some Killer Bunnies (an amazing card game) with some of our good friends tonight. We hadn't been able to see them in about two months, so it was a long time coming and a great evening for everyone! They even had a little belated birthday party with party donuts and some very beautiful earrings for me! How much fun is that?!
Tomorrow is more prep around the house. We need to fix the backyard and start cleaning out the garage! Also, Tom has to take one of our dogs to go get his rabies vaccination and licensing! Fortunately there is a clinic with reduced pricing (yay)! I'm all for saving money!
Well, Tom is in bed, and here I am once again up later than I'd like. I guess I should wrap it up and get myself to bed! It is supposed to be 108 degrees tomorrow and there is a lot to do!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
So Emotional
Seriously, you'd think I was pregnant (but I'm not). *Sigh* I had my bi-annual with the Gyno today and seriously I was on the verge of tears the entire time. Sitting in the waiting room with all these beautiful pregnant ladies (and a few freshly birthed babies); it was seriously more than I could handle! I did tear up a bit in the exam room. Fortunately enough for me, my gyno is patient and kind and didn't judge me for it.
I know I've said it before, but coming from "knowing" I didn't want a child for most my life to here...it is unbelievable. I can't believe I ever didn't want what I feel I so desperately need now. I remember almost feeling sorry for people who got pregnant on a whim, like they were somehow losing their freedom and lives. When in reality and I was missing it and how lucky and fortunate for them to be able to have children at will.
I know my story isn't all that unique and there are many women out there just like me. All of whom are struggling to figure out how to handle how hard it is to want a child and not be able to "make" one naturally. I know we are fortunate to live in a country and time where we have other options. Not having those would make this so much more difficult.
I should mention I also broke down last night while chatting with my sweet husband about this whole process. And I'm sure that this will not be the last of it. Although, it would certainly be nice to go back to not being so gosh darn emotional! Lord, could you please help with that?! :)
For now, I know I need to focus on what I have: A fantastic man who adores me, a roof over my head, food on the table, and the means to make our dreams of becoming a family a reality, even if it isn't "natural" or cheap. Thank God for blessing me so greatly.
I know He will take care of our needs and this will all work out in the end, but for right now, I think I'm just going to have to be okay with crying randomly and being somewhat of a wreck! To all those around me...sorry!!
I know I've said it before, but coming from "knowing" I didn't want a child for most my life to here...it is unbelievable. I can't believe I ever didn't want what I feel I so desperately need now. I remember almost feeling sorry for people who got pregnant on a whim, like they were somehow losing their freedom and lives. When in reality and I was missing it and how lucky and fortunate for them to be able to have children at will.
I know my story isn't all that unique and there are many women out there just like me. All of whom are struggling to figure out how to handle how hard it is to want a child and not be able to "make" one naturally. I know we are fortunate to live in a country and time where we have other options. Not having those would make this so much more difficult.
I should mention I also broke down last night while chatting with my sweet husband about this whole process. And I'm sure that this will not be the last of it. Although, it would certainly be nice to go back to not being so gosh darn emotional! Lord, could you please help with that?! :)
For now, I know I need to focus on what I have: A fantastic man who adores me, a roof over my head, food on the table, and the means to make our dreams of becoming a family a reality, even if it isn't "natural" or cheap. Thank God for blessing me so greatly.
I know He will take care of our needs and this will all work out in the end, but for right now, I think I'm just going to have to be okay with crying randomly and being somewhat of a wreck! To all those around me...sorry!!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Scary as well...you can guess!
Contracts. Seriously scary stuff! I know they are meant to cover all sorts of circumstances and therefore must be written in a way that is quite intimidating. But just after I feel like it's not all against us...BOOM! It is just awful to feel so helpless and vulnerable. I would never of guessed that the process of having children would have been so complicated and upsetting. I know they will be well worth it in the end, but that seems so far off, it is of little condolence!
So, after some tears and discussions, our questions and concerns are sent off back to the lawyers. Hopefully it will all turn out for the best, but right now it feels like no matter which way we go, we are the bottom of the food chain and are about to be screwed!
I am lucky I have such a calm and easy-going husband to counteract all my over-stressing. Right now, I just wish I could trust and let go and know that no one would take advantage of us and it would all work out perfectly. However, at this very moment, I can't.
I guess I will be up late again tonight. At least I have every season of Mythbusters on Netflix to keep me company and distracted!!
So, after some tears and discussions, our questions and concerns are sent off back to the lawyers. Hopefully it will all turn out for the best, but right now it feels like no matter which way we go, we are the bottom of the food chain and are about to be screwed!
I am lucky I have such a calm and easy-going husband to counteract all my over-stressing. Right now, I just wish I could trust and let go and know that no one would take advantage of us and it would all work out perfectly. However, at this very moment, I can't.
I guess I will be up late again tonight. At least I have every season of Mythbusters on Netflix to keep me company and distracted!!
Monday, June 3, 2013
Unfair, but still there
Even though Tom and I are fairly certain we will maintain our choice of the group we visited last Saturday for adoption; I like to be thorough and therefore have left doors open. As I have continued reviewing sites and adoptive parent profiles, I have come across some where the people admit they could have children of their own, but are choosing private adoption. I know this is their right and they are allowed to do that, but I can't help but feel a bit upset by this.
Here we are, unable, but desperately wanting a child. We know that we are likely going to have to wait a long while to be matched and have one of our own through the gift of another, and yet, someone who could procreate, is taking another baby off the market from those of us left with basically no other options. I understand this is completely unfair of me and I have no right to judge, but I still feel upset by this.
I also think I don't understand it. If you are choosing adoption because you want to help, why wouldn't you go through the foster-adopt system and take children who are otherwise abandoned? Why spend money to get a newborn that others are waiting for?
Definitely something I need to think and pray about, but first needed to get it out there. So, thank you for listening!
In other news, day 1 of both Tom and I not eating out at all, but instead making our three meals (separately since he started EMT school), went splendidly! I know it isn't Tom's favorite thing, but we got through the first day and I am hoping we can continue long term. Definite money savings and healthier eating!
Here we are, unable, but desperately wanting a child. We know that we are likely going to have to wait a long while to be matched and have one of our own through the gift of another, and yet, someone who could procreate, is taking another baby off the market from those of us left with basically no other options. I understand this is completely unfair of me and I have no right to judge, but I still feel upset by this.
I also think I don't understand it. If you are choosing adoption because you want to help, why wouldn't you go through the foster-adopt system and take children who are otherwise abandoned? Why spend money to get a newborn that others are waiting for?
Definitely something I need to think and pray about, but first needed to get it out there. So, thank you for listening!
In other news, day 1 of both Tom and I not eating out at all, but instead making our three meals (separately since he started EMT school), went splendidly! I know it isn't Tom's favorite thing, but we got through the first day and I am hoping we can continue long term. Definite money savings and healthier eating!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Certain of uncertainty
If nothing else through this process, I've learned that everything can change very quickly and you can never know enough! This weekend was wonderfully full of information, relaxation, and decisions! Both incredibly exciting and settling and totally nerve-wracking at the same time. So amazing how one decision can carry so many conflicting emotions!
We went to an orientation on Saturday and I can't tell you how relieving it was. So often in life people tell you when the right thing comes along you'll just know. And this situation felt so much of that, it was incredible. I'm not sure I made it clear how uneasy Tom was of the private setting because of the incredible cost. Well, we sat through the session and asked our questions and we both walked away knowing that was the right method for us. What a relief!
Now, of course we have a whole new set of worries and to dos. But at least that is crossed off our list! I think we are still going to allow the foster care/adoption process continue, just so we have that there for the future. However, knowing where our baby will be coming from and having us both on the same page, is such a relief.
We also talked about names and think we have some good ones. :) It really is the little things! Lots of prayer toward having a birth mother choose us quickly and that it would be the right fit. For those of you out there, if you could lift us up and help with prayer for the right mother to select us and hopefully before years have passed, we would greatly appreciate it.
Tom also starts EMT school tomorrow. It should be interesting trying to coordinate the work on the house and the home study and his courseload at the same time. But I'm confident we can make it happen and that it will all work out for the best.
So one huge step forward. Tomorrow hopefully we'll hear what we actually need to do to get this whole process started!
We went to an orientation on Saturday and I can't tell you how relieving it was. So often in life people tell you when the right thing comes along you'll just know. And this situation felt so much of that, it was incredible. I'm not sure I made it clear how uneasy Tom was of the private setting because of the incredible cost. Well, we sat through the session and asked our questions and we both walked away knowing that was the right method for us. What a relief!
Now, of course we have a whole new set of worries and to dos. But at least that is crossed off our list! I think we are still going to allow the foster care/adoption process continue, just so we have that there for the future. However, knowing where our baby will be coming from and having us both on the same page, is such a relief.
We also talked about names and think we have some good ones. :) It really is the little things! Lots of prayer toward having a birth mother choose us quickly and that it would be the right fit. For those of you out there, if you could lift us up and help with prayer for the right mother to select us and hopefully before years have passed, we would greatly appreciate it.
Tom also starts EMT school tomorrow. It should be interesting trying to coordinate the work on the house and the home study and his courseload at the same time. But I'm confident we can make it happen and that it will all work out for the best.
So one huge step forward. Tomorrow hopefully we'll hear what we actually need to do to get this whole process started!
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