Whew!

I'm not sure why it always seems to end up this way, but, it seems I never spend my Memorial day relaxing, barbecuing  and paying tribute to those who have served to maintain my ability to do what I do. Instead, I seem to fill each Memorial day cleaning or organizing my house! I'm hoping this year is the last. That I actually maintain organization and cleanliness throughout the year and during the weeks, instead of waiting until it is so bad that I need a three-day weekend to get it done!

Now, of course, some of the organization needing to be done had less to do with randomness and more to do with preparing our home for children, specifically a foster child. I organized and gathered all of our cleaning supplies and my craft stuff and put it in our freshly built locking cabinet. I am sure I'll later need to move prescription drugs and other beauty products, but for now, I'm happy with it. 

I also cleaned out my closet, and am not-so-patiently waiting for my hubby to take a break from his video game to move the file cabinet so I can organize that as well! 

Bonus, we found lots of stuff to donate to Goodwill so that will help with our taxes next year (as well as giving us more space). In that pile I've included my wedding gown. I had held onto it initially because I was convinced I wanted a trash the dress session, but if it hasn't happened by now, it isn't going to. I really can't think of another legitimate reason to keep it. I mean sure, it makes me a little sick to think we spent that much money on it, I wore it for a few hours, and now it is worth $36 in tax write-off. But hopefully this way, someone else can enjoy it for their few hours :) 

Well, I must get back to it, the kitchen and laundry won't do themselves. Also, I think it is time to nag the man again about that file cabinet! I hope you all enjoy your weekend and are able to take some time to honor those who keep us free. 

Momentum

I really need to adjust the default settings on this thing so I don't have to manually change the font each time I start. 

Well, let's see, it has been nearly a week since I last wrote. It has been a very busy week! Wednesday's presentation to the big wigs went really well (better than we ever expected) and we expect really high scores. What a relief! I had not even realized the tension the anticipation of that presentation had caused; after it was over my neck finally relaxed and popped. ahhhhh yeah :) 

Thursday was spent preparing for the next big presentation for another of my areas and then Friday (my 30th birthday) was spent relaxing and partying! Woohoo! Yesterday was the big party day with family and friends. Tom did most the planning and executed wonderfully. I am so blessed! 

Now, onto the real reason you're here...updates! Thursday night was the foster care orientation. A couple good friends of ours are also looking into it and went with us. Talk about overwhelmed...Wow! So much information and the rules and safeties in place are not minimal. I know they are there for a good reason and they are not bad things to do while preparing to have a child move in, but we have some serious work to do! It really was a very big wake up call for Tom and I as far as realizing that how we keep our home and live was about to change in some very fundamental ways.

Don't get me wrong, we are very excited, but this is going to be a very long, trying, and expensive process! Nonetheless we are jumping in and have already begun completing the very long application and went to buy a locked storage cabinet for our office room closet so we can safely store our less than child-safe household cleaners and products. It took us nearly 3 hours to install (it was missing some screws), but now it is ready to fill! Woohoo. 

We also got an offer from my crazy generous parents to help finance our private adoption, if we chose to go that route (with us repaying, of course). I think we are still going to try the foster route initially. First, we both know that way is better for our community as a whole and it just seems prudent. Hopefully we are able to be successful using this option and won't need to pursue choosing and contracting with an agency. But, only time will tell.

For now, I plan to spend my next couple days off working on cleaning and organizing the house better so it will be easier to baby-proof and meet the home investigation guidelines. 

I hope you have a lovely Memorial Day remembering your own heroes. 

Wake up and pay attention

This is for you men out there (not that I actually think any of you are reading this); how in the world can you be so unobservant?! I realize that all humans mainly only pay attention to that which is important to them, however, the fact that as a gender, you all seem to miss some pretty big stuff, I worry for the safety and care of our children! LOL

While there are a number of situation that bring this up, today was just a wonderful example. My husband, bless him, has always told me that he really likes my hair long and wants to keep it that way and anything above the shoulder blades would be too short. Enter today. I had a hair appointment, Tom knew about said appointment and we had even discussed my upcoming hair cut. Typically I just go in for a trim and leave it at that (I do not spend much time doing my hair, so style has never been a big issue for me). However, this time and in advance I told Tom I was considering going a bit shorter. The ends are dry and damaged, it's too hot, etc.

So, I did it, and it ended up being a bit shorter than I was thinking, although not bad, but instead of the 2-3"we discussed it was closer to 5". I am okay with this, I think this is healthier for my hair and I know it will grow back, etc. But I was sure Tom was going to be upset when he saw it. I know it is shorter than he likes. But I have now spent nearly 3 hours in front of him, cooking, eating dinner, going shopping at Costco, standing around talking, and he has yet to notice the lack of length. Seriously? How is that even possible?!

Not that it really matters. Well, actually, I consider this good, I really didn't want him to be upset. I just continue laughing at how one can protest to care so much about it and then completely miss it! I'm sure he will notice eventually and then it will be even funnier! 

No news on the baby front, we are just waiting for the orientations that are all coming up and the refi on the house to see what options we even have. 

I am VERY excited for my 30th birthday later this week and the party this weekend! I haven't had an actual "party" for my birthday since I was 16, so this will be a lot of fun. 

Thanks again for listening! 

Under Construction

The last few days have been very busy, but also quite productive and fun! It is a very busy time of year for me at work with a couple major presentations coming up. It has been harder than normal to maintain concentration with all of this going on. Of course, I'd rather spend my time researching and planning and getting ready! I also had my main monitor of my home PC die this afternoon. Fortunately, I have two, so while annoying, it is not catastrophic. 

Tom got us some free tickets to the Angels game yesterday so we got to go enjoy that with my brother and his new wife. I wasn't very excited at first as I'm not much into sports, but figured the time with everyone would be good. The game itself was actually more entertaining than I had anticipated (especially once our section was in the shade)! Of course, the time spent with my brother and his wife was even better than expected. Overall, quite an amazing day! 

Today has been pretty much about preparing for what we know is coming. Wake up, church (hallelujah!); lunch with the grandparents got canceled as grandma wasn't doing well (prayers for her!), but we got to see them anyway. The rest of this afternoon/evening was out in the yard. We cleaned up (fluff everywhere from the dogs tearing up the bed), fixed the sprinklers, cleaned off the patios, AND the side yard (which might I add, was an incredible disaster)!

Now the lawn is being prepared for new seed so we can have an actual lawn instead of dead grass and weeds! Woohoo! 

In other news, we have started receiving packets from various agencies and how you know which to pick is beyond me. However, we have started signing up for orientation sessions. We are just hoping and praying the choice will become more clear as we continue progressing forward. 

OH! I almost forgot! While at Lowe's to pick up sprinkler and lawn stuff, we stopped by the baby-proofing area and picked up drawer and knob locks, edge pads, and plug covers! I'm not sure why, but this got me so excited. Tom says I'm not allowed to install any of it yet, but we have it!! I tried to convince him we could get stuff to start decorating the room that will become the nursery, but I was shut down. Probably for the best, I'm lucky I have a sensible husband for these moments where I lose mine! 

Another day, another couple steps toward having a child of our own...I can hardly wait! 

Narrow and wide

The search continues; well, the research continues. The "search" has yet to truly begin. Every time I think we have narrowed the options, it expands back out just in case. It is quite a confusing and crazy feeling, this whole process that is. Although, I think each step just further confirms that this is the right step for us, adoption is right road. That knowledge and continual confirmation makes this crazy path pretty tolerable (so far). 

We have also begun telling folks close to us about our intentions and their reactions have also helped support us on this path. Right now, I feel like there are so many tips, suggestions, do/don'ts, etc that it is hard to know what is best. Do you keep it quiet because there is still a very long way to go and who knows what will happen...or do you shout it from the rooftops because you're so excited and that might help in your search? I have a feeling we'll learn best by trial and error. I just hope those errors don't cost us greatly later. 

For tonight, I'm excited to be signed up for some intro sessions and to know Tom and I know where we are going together! I'm dreaming of our family together, and while that may take years, I know it will happen, and that brings me more joy than I can share. 

Step 1: Research

I am a huge fan of research...I research just about anything and everything I can. New car...months of research. Reviews, specs, models, options, test driving, you name it, I did it. I once had a full spreadsheet of stats for folding knives before I could make a decision on which I would purchase. It may seem a bit excessive, but I like to be well-informed. 

Enter the thought of adoption and say goodbye to the ability to know everything that is going to happen or how it will turn out. And that combined with what will probably be the most important decision of our lives. Talk about a bit of stress. It is only day one and we are already feeling it (less so than excitement)! 

Tom and I have both spent the better part of the last couple days, while not working, researching. What are our options? Which options are best? What is the trade off? What things are certain (let me tell you, very few) and which things are we just going to have to roll with. What seems clear to me in this world of non-biological parenting, the more certainty you want, the more it will cost you. 

I think right now we are leaning toward Foster to Adopt, at least to try at first and see if it can work for us. First, it is actually affordable. As in, we could potentially get a baby/child and still have money to take care of it! :D Second, I think this option is actually more helpful to the child and society. This is taking a child that would otherwise likely bounce between foster homes until they are old enough to leave the system. 

However, the downsides to this option are a bit daunting. So, we are still looking into other options, just in case. We are now signed up for some intro courses to begin and prepare ourselves and our home for this new addition. I'll do my best to withhold judgement until we know more facts! 

Today I feel it more than when it started, this is the right path for us. I really do want us to raise a child. It is amazing and scary and exciting all at once. I just hope we make the right decisions and don't fall into some of the scary pitfalls and potential issues with adopting. 

Here's to hoping and praying!

The beginning

Well, this isn't the technical beginning of it all, but it is where we'll start together. Let us begin with a little backdrop. I am set to hit 30 years of age later this month, I have been married for just over two years, and have a job I love! We have three dogs, own a home, have reliable vehicles, and money in our savings. Life is pretty swell. There really isn't much to really complain about, so you'll probably catch me whining over the little stuff (like the seat being left up or my car being dirty). 

Now that you have the briefest of intros, let's go back to what seems to me as the main motivation to begin this blog. Since I was a child, I always felt like I should have been adult. I never had an overactive imagination and preferred to be viewed as responsible and grown up for my age, rather than as a typical child. So, I hung out with adults as much as possible, and if not, then with kids who were either actually older than me, or at least acted it! During this time, while I spent a lot of time watching kids/babysitting, it was never for the fact that I thought I wanted some of my own, but rather because that meant I was responsible and trustworthy. 

I even went so far as to become a nanny of twin toddler girls right out of high school. I greatly enjoyed watching the girls and growing with them, but maintained my single mindset that I never wanted any of my own. Kids are a lot of work and they require that you become selfless in order to ensure they become a normally functioning, happy adult in their own timing. This is not something I've ever been interested in. I want to live my life as I want to live it, to relax on my own time, and to spend my money on who I choose, rather than on who I must. I have, with very few exceptions, held this same opinion at my very core since I was somewhere around the age of 12 (aka the majority of my life). 

Now, let's fast-forward to today, May 12, 2013, Mother's Day. My husband and I met our grandparents at Del Taco (as we usually do on Sundays) for lunch. His parents and brother also joined us, as it is Mother's Day, and as a surprise coincidence, my husband's best friend, Matt, also arrived with his two children (his wife had to leave town unexpectedly). I personally had not seen Matt in quite some time and had yet to meet his 7 month old son, although am familiar with his 4 year old daughter. 

I'm sure you can see where this is going, but let me tell you. I did not. In fact, less than a week ago, my newlywed brother and his wife were just talking to Tom (my husband) and I about children and I was sure I still did not want them, although, I know Tom does. But I digress. I see Matt set down the baby and he asks me if I'd keep an eye on him while he orders their lunch. Sure, why not? What's the harm right?! If I had only known!!! 

I don't know if it is because it is Mother's day and this will pass, or if it is like they say that something switches when you turn 30, but all I know is, I wanted that baby. I could hardly set him down to eat. I just wanted to hold and play and the thoughts kept going through my head like this: "a baby! how nice! you need one...you want one...you have to have one!" Oh no! This is not in my plan and this was never something I wanted! Why do I feel like I need one now?! 

Now, I do not have the answer, but as of this moment, I know I want one, not one that is biologically my own as I know the likelihood of that happening is basically zero. However, I want one. I need one. I suddenly feel like our life, our perfectly happy life is now missing something. A baby. 

So, as I'm a practical person, we shall wait to see if this passes, however, I'm fairly certain it won't. And perhaps you'll join me in this journey of taking life one step at a time and adding to our little family.