The beginning

Well, this isn't the technical beginning of it all, but it is where we'll start together. Let us begin with a little backdrop. I am set to hit 30 years of age later this month, I have been married for just over two years, and have a job I love! We have three dogs, own a home, have reliable vehicles, and money in our savings. Life is pretty swell. There really isn't much to really complain about, so you'll probably catch me whining over the little stuff (like the seat being left up or my car being dirty). 

Now that you have the briefest of intros, let's go back to what seems to me as the main motivation to begin this blog. Since I was a child, I always felt like I should have been adult. I never had an overactive imagination and preferred to be viewed as responsible and grown up for my age, rather than as a typical child. So, I hung out with adults as much as possible, and if not, then with kids who were either actually older than me, or at least acted it! During this time, while I spent a lot of time watching kids/babysitting, it was never for the fact that I thought I wanted some of my own, but rather because that meant I was responsible and trustworthy. 

I even went so far as to become a nanny of twin toddler girls right out of high school. I greatly enjoyed watching the girls and growing with them, but maintained my single mindset that I never wanted any of my own. Kids are a lot of work and they require that you become selfless in order to ensure they become a normally functioning, happy adult in their own timing. This is not something I've ever been interested in. I want to live my life as I want to live it, to relax on my own time, and to spend my money on who I choose, rather than on who I must. I have, with very few exceptions, held this same opinion at my very core since I was somewhere around the age of 12 (aka the majority of my life). 

Now, let's fast-forward to today, May 12, 2013, Mother's Day. My husband and I met our grandparents at Del Taco (as we usually do on Sundays) for lunch. His parents and brother also joined us, as it is Mother's Day, and as a surprise coincidence, my husband's best friend, Matt, also arrived with his two children (his wife had to leave town unexpectedly). I personally had not seen Matt in quite some time and had yet to meet his 7 month old son, although am familiar with his 4 year old daughter. 

I'm sure you can see where this is going, but let me tell you. I did not. In fact, less than a week ago, my newlywed brother and his wife were just talking to Tom (my husband) and I about children and I was sure I still did not want them, although, I know Tom does. But I digress. I see Matt set down the baby and he asks me if I'd keep an eye on him while he orders their lunch. Sure, why not? What's the harm right?! If I had only known!!! 

I don't know if it is because it is Mother's day and this will pass, or if it is like they say that something switches when you turn 30, but all I know is, I wanted that baby. I could hardly set him down to eat. I just wanted to hold and play and the thoughts kept going through my head like this: "a baby! how nice! you need one...you want one...you have to have one!" Oh no! This is not in my plan and this was never something I wanted! Why do I feel like I need one now?! 

Now, I do not have the answer, but as of this moment, I know I want one, not one that is biologically my own as I know the likelihood of that happening is basically zero. However, I want one. I need one. I suddenly feel like our life, our perfectly happy life is now missing something. A baby. 

So, as I'm a practical person, we shall wait to see if this passes, however, I'm fairly certain it won't. And perhaps you'll join me in this journey of taking life one step at a time and adding to our little family.