Apparently I, Tom, and most other parents (and non-parents for that matter) have no clue what "safe" means. This is according to the Department of Human services of course...When I thought of baby proofing (pre-foster care), I thought putting child safety tabs on drawers (once they were mobile), covers in the outlets, not leaving them unattended, chemicals out of reach, etc.
Now, all of that is still part of being considered safe for foster children, but there are lots more things that I would never even thought of...Here is a list of a few.
- Fill in all holes and divots in yard
- Padding on all corners, mantles, tables, furniture
- Locks on every drawer and cabinet (regardless of child's age)
- all medications (OTC and Rx), vitamins, cleaning chemicals, general hygiene products (deodorant, shampoo, hair spray, lotions, shaving cream, toothpaste, etc), and any other bottle that says "Keep out of reach of children" MUST be LOCKED (either with a combo lock or key lock) away. Say what?!!
- All knives, scissors, and otherwise sharp objects must also be LOCKED up
- All alcohol must be LOCKED up (now, for a teenager, okay, but an infant? really?!)
- All tools must be LOCKED up
- All paint, bug sprays, weed killers, and other garage chemicals must be LOCKED up
- All cleaning chemicals, detergents, and laundry supplies must be LOCKED up
- All breakable objects (vases, bowls, etc) must be out of reach of children. At least for this one I can put them up high or a child safety lock....
- All opened food bags must be sealed with a clip (not just placed in the box with the lid shut) or in a sealed container.
- Absolutely NO clutter on the floors or counters
- All windows must be openable (this makes sense) and have screens (ummm why?)
- Every room in a house must have a smoke detector. This one I can kinda see, but in a house our size, it seems overkill...
- All guns must be unloaded and locked in a safe (totally makes sense), all ammo must also be locked up in a container separate from the guns. Umm, okay, they do realize locking it in the safe without a human in there, basically makes it impossible to fire, right?!
So some of those make some sense, but many of them we are just like, seriously? Want to know what makes ALL of that even more frustrating? We have to go through all that, plus fingerprinting, interviews, background checks, 27+ hours of education/training, orientations, monthly home visits, etc and all the parents have to do to take the children back? Take a couple classes and provide a tent where the child has their own space on the floor to sleep and some food inside.
No wonder there are not enough foster family homes for these kids. We are committed and know in the end it will all be worth it to have a child as part of our family, but man, talk about discouraging potential families. I agree these children should be provided a safe environment, but much of this is just ridiculous. And if they need that safe an environment in foster care, how can their "permanent" home with their biological families require anything less?
Anyway, I'll stop ranting now. I know this is all for a purpose and it will make our home safer and cleaner and will make for a better home for our future child, but right now, I feel like we are being put through the ringer for someone's entertainment!
Seriously, I feel like I'm in those old 7Up commercials (I think that was the soda). "What's your motivation?" I should have plenty of it, but I'm struggling to make it useful! Most specifically around the house. Now, I am not, in general, the tidiest person. It has never been natural for me to be a cleaner. Living with Tom who prefers to just throw things all over the house, just has made this worse as any progress or work is futile because I'm the only one who keeps it up.
Well, this might be okay if we weren't about to go through numerous home investigations, interviews, and bring a child into the home. So, I hired a maid, but need to de-clutterize the house before she can actually clean it. I've done a bit, but not nearly enough and I just can't seem to stay focused. I know, now is when you're saying "why are you sitting here telling me about it?! Get off your butt and go de-clutter!!" To this I say, I am sitting briefly to eat a tuna sandwich in hopes it will give me some energy to get going. Excuses, excuses...I know. I get it.
I'm hoping Tom gets out of class early and will come help. Although I really shouldn't hold my breath as it is his last chance to study with his teacher before his Final. But a girl can dream, can't she?
We accomplished a couple milestones this week that I'm pretty excited about.
1. We finally closed on the refi for the house (funded on Friday)! So, that is a HUGE relief! Saving a couple hundred each month in payments is also not so shabby :-p
2. We completed our pre-adoption PRIDE training today. It is an 8 hour course, which today they told us we should have taken AFTER the foster care courses, but oh well. It is done and it was good information. And it just puts us one step closer to having a child of our own.
3. We got the rocking chair we ordered (I love good sales), and my parents bought the crib bedding today! It is soooo cute! It matches the room and will bring together all the colors nicely. It also fits with our fun jungle/monkey theme we want.
So, now. After a long, productive week, I'm relaxing here at the computer, and Tom is studying for his EMT finals next week. It has been a great day. Which made up for a pretty stressful week. Tomorrow I should be able to relax a bit. Although may do some cleaning around the house. We'll see. Either way, it will be nice knowing stuff that was looming over us, is now completed. What greater feeling is there than finishing tasks that had been stressing you out?! Nothing I say!
Seriously, time flies. It seems it flies faster as I age. I once had someone tell me that was because life is like a fraction, when you are two, one year is half your life which makes it seem relatively long, but by the time you're 30, each year is just 1/30 of you life, which relatively seems shorter. Relativity really is amazing, but I digress. I began today because it's only been 5 days since I wrote and I have so much news!!
First, on Sunday, which started out awfully (from a migraine), ended up fabulous! Once my headache started to subside, Tom and I decided to go run some errands and look at some rocking chairs. Tom really wanted to be able to try it before he bought it, and who could blame him?!
So, we went to Babies'r'us and tried their gliders. They had two we liked, one that was on a major sale ($150 off), that we really liked. It seemed a bit high off the ground for short me, but it works well enough. After this we drove ALL over town trying to find other places with baby furniture and rockers, but no one else seemed to keep anything in stock (bummer).
But our travels took us to a local shop called Mr. Mattress (where we bought our current mattress and master bedroom furniture). They didn't have anything in store, but showed us a catalog. Well, leave it to my hubby, the eternal chatter, to chat it up with the owner's wife who was helping us, about our quest and the fact we were adopting, etc, etc. Anyway, so while we were looking at the catalog, she decided to go looking on craigslist because she was sure she had seen a good deal on some baby furniture. Sure enough, a basically non-used crib, with mattress, and bumpers (which we knew we wouldn't use) for super cheap.
We called the guy and long story short, because he couldn't bare to let his child cry herself to sleep, we got a basically brand new crib and mattress for about half price of what we would of paid in stores. Awesome!
We also later ended up ordering that rocker and got an additional $25 off since we ordered it online (free shipping to store) and are just waiting for it to arrive to pick it up!
It doesn't even end there! Shocking, I know! We finally got word that we were assigned to a local non-profit for the adoption side of things and completed and turned around our first set of paperwork post-haste. We are working on their stage two, which is basically like a repeat of all the stuff we did for our foster care application, but with a different logo. Sucks to have to do everything twice, but at least we are moving forward. :)
We have our pre-adoption PRIDE training this Saturday are getting the baby bedding Sunday (plus some free baby stuff from a friend), and will begin our foster care PRIDE training first week of August! From what felt like such a slow start, we are really picking up some traction. It feels amazing. :D
Well, I think that is about it, and probably more than enough. :) Talk to ya soon!
I am a true believer that it takes all types of people to run the world. After all we humans are subject to a thing called relativity. If we never experienced bad things, we would fail to notice and appreciate the good. Also, this world is so complex that if we were all cookie cutter, there are many jobs that could never get done, art that would never be created, and technologies that couldn't exist. Seriously, who wants that?!
I say this to realize that I am one of those types that gets teased because organizing and researching is a favorite past-time of mine. Why is this relevant? Well, because besides doing laundry all morning, I have quite literally spent the last 4 hours of my Saturday morning researching furniture for the baby. This soothes me, it entertains me more than most games, and while many may say it isn't productive, I at least feel like I've accomplished something. :)
I have now compared and contrasted a number of cribs, changing tables, rocker/gliders, strollers/travel systems, pack'n plays, high chairs, and car seats. I've searched prices and rank ordered my favorites. Now, this doens't mean I haven't missed something. But I do feel pretty confident that after our trips to baby shops to touch and feel some of these products, and then compare with reviews and prices that I have a pretty solid list. I've attached a picture so you can see my work. :D
I started with a different format, but liked that I could put this into a pivot table for easy summing of different score options. I'm excited to show Tom and know he will laugh at me. As much as he laughs, I know he still appreciates the effort as researching is not his cup of tea and he feels better knowing we did our due diligence. :D
While the furniture is expensive, all of it together isn't as bad as I thought it might be. Of course, I kept my picks in the reasonable price ranges and avoided falling in love with something outlandish. So, we'll see with the hubby says when he finishes his internship today at the hospital! :D
Stuff and things. It is amazing how much they matter. Now, I'm not like my brother who really believes less is more. I do have a materialistic side and definitely enjoy my comforts. However, I never realized how exciting and important and exhausting picking out even the smallest details for a baby could be. It feels like so much relies and will change depending on what you choose.
Now, I'm not so foolish to think that if I picked Avent over Tommee Tippee that our future child will never be able to feed and end up malnourished and scarred for life. But there is a sense of needing and wanting not just bare minimum, but the best for the tiny human you are going to be responsible for.
Even considering all that anxiety about making the wrong decisions, all while knowing any decision as long as they have something will be okay, the process is exciting. We didn't get anything incredibly mind-blowing today. We did pick up some bottles and a sanitizer, bibs, diaper pail, a couple infant "toys", and diaper rash cream. However, I cannot even begin to relate my excitement! It is really all coming together!
I should add that during this time of shopping, Tom changed his mind and we decided to go monkey/jungle themed instead of beach themed. Since neither of us is a particularly great decorator and we would like some flow to the room. We figure going with a theme that is readily available with many options makes more sense. And the color blue on the walls fits it perfectly. :D
We also got confirmation that we have an agency set up to do our home study, and as soon as I get my TB test, we'll be ready to go for our foster care home inspection! I realize it could still take months, but it might not, and that would just be fabulous!
Okay, maybe I'm not, but the spare room/nursery certainly is. Don't get too excited, it only has one mostly complete coat, but it is definitely blue! A brighter blue than we thought it would be, in fact it looks remarkably like the background to super mario bros. So, if you wanted to see, just go look at videos of game and the background pretty much hits the nail on the head. :D
Tom is still deciding if he can stand it. I'm still deciding if we should just go with it or change it to something we actually love instead of something that will work. I also wonder how it will look once there is actually stuff on the walls and in the room. Not to mention blinds/curtains on the window!! If I had my guess, we would leave it as is, paint the second coat and that once everything is in there and decorated, we'll love it. We need to trust the process (not unlike the adoption process as a whole).
I got the call from the doctor and my health screening form is finally complete! YAY. Now, I just need a TB test and we should be completed with phase 2. Hopefully after that, it won't be too much longer until we meet our case worker and get the home inspection started.
I think all of this change and process on top of Tom's crazy work/school schedule is beginning to take a toll. Poor hubby is exhausted and I can hardly wait for school to be over in three weeks. 14+ hour days is just too much. It probably doesn't help that I'm at 3/4 speed ahead. But we're getting through it.
He actually suggested we go look at cribs and other baby stuff this weekend. We must of spent 3 hours between Target and Babys 'R' Us looking at cribs and strollers and pack'n'plays and changing tables and on and on and on. We were able to find a stroller we really liked and a crib we really liked (remarkably cheaper through their website than at the store). We are waiting until August to buy anything, but it was nice looking and seeing that in general we agree on the bigger ticket items.
I was even tempted by their glide rockers. Oh my goodness. I had always just assumed I'd take my mom's old rocker, but after sitting in the padded, comfortable gliders, I think I may have changed my mind. For how many hours I expect we'll sit in those with the baby, the investment seems quite worthwhile. But we'll see, it is still a ways off. I think it will depend on how good a deal we can get on the rest of the necessities!
We also have our scuba trip in just a few short months. Man, I remember when 3 months seemed like forever, but seriously, it is already July. September will be here in the blink of an eye! I've started reading my chapters from the PADI book and need to get Tom to do the same. This is not light reading material, I'm just hoping my brain can retain it all with everything else crammed up in there!
Another day closer to when we will have our own tiny human and I can hardly wait.
I guess you could say the preparations began months ago as we began this process of cleaning and organizing in preparation for bringing a new, tiny human into our home. But as of yesterday, it feels so much more real. We picked out the paint and are just waiting for the old furniture to disappear to start painting what will soon be our nursery.
We also bought a much too big, but really cute fan. It is the fanciest fan I've ever owned. Tom and I both find it humorous that we spent more on that fan than every other fixture in the house combined. However, it fits. It has blades that appear as palm fronds and while it is too large for the space and probably hangs too low, we're going with it. It perfectly fits with our Hawaii/beach themed nursery idea.
I've been really impressed with how easily we're selling our furniture set. I was a bit concerned we may have priced it too high, but we've had lots of bites and only still have it because I made a foolish mistake of holding it for someone who never showed. But that isn't the worst thing ever. It looks like it will now go to a friend of ours, however, if not, I have another friend who wants it too! Soon the room will be ready to be decorated and filled.
I also spent a couple hours yesterday looking at cribs and changing table/dressers, and other fun baby stuff. We are getting some of it from a friend, but are pretty sure it is the wrong color. So, we'll see if we stick with it or end up buying something new that requires no paint :-p
I have no idea how this room is going to come together, but I'm really excited for it. We could still be months off from getting a baby and even the first we get may not end up being ours. However, I'm trying to stay optimistic and hopeful. Also, knowing me, having it all ready will make me feel more at ease. Fortune favors the prepared. And we're definitely hoping for some fortune in the form of a tiny human!
We are making progress! Our application for foster care has been approved! We are now in phase 2 where we get our fingerprints, physicals, etc. done and then the home inspection! We also got a call today to make sure we were signed up for the adoption courses through the county. It feels so good to have some steps. Way better than just sitting in the dark hoping and waiting. I know we are still a ways off, but this feels amazing!
In other news, every inch of my being has been bit by the baby bug...I think I have now watched the move "What to Expect when you're Expecting" at least three times, plus every infant, child, baby, and birthing documentary on Netflix. I don't know what I'm going to do now that I'm running out of options!
We have a guy who has committed to buying our spare room furniture on Friday (talk about a major step). Once that is gone, there will be nothing holding us back from decorating. I know that is a risky step as it could still be months and months before there is a tiny human to put in there, but I feel this real need to have it ready, just in case it is sooner. Fortunately for me, Tom is so kind and seems to be on board with my baby fever...:)
Things are so great right now. I know this coaster will have more drops. But right now, this feels great! :D
